i want food but i don’t want to cook food, go out and buy food, walk ten metres down the hallway to the kitchen to get food, do you see my problem
I feel like I’m going to be that aunt who drinks vodka straight out of the bottle and ruins Christmas.
according to physics, nothing ever quite touches. when you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you’re touching. so no, officer, technically i’m not jacking off right now
when i die i want to be buried wearing a pair of sunglasses so that a few decades down the line i will also be a cool skeleton
26,473 notes. 26,473 people identified with this statement. if even half that many people actually did this, can you imagine how confused future archaeologists would be